Dig a Little Deeper.

Takin' a poll.  Which one sucks the most?  Getting scolded by your boss (3 tiers up) due to a failed business relationship costing millions, followed by the worst stink eye, lasting for what seems like forever...or having sex with Charlie Sheen?  Alright...you win, it's a no brainer.  But what if your job means the world to you?  It's one of the few tangible strongholds that assists in survival, in today's world anyway.  Without your job, you have zero funds for all the things unnecessary.  Sure, society will keep you alive, but you all know there's little 'oomph' factor in living off society.  The confidence lost, insecurities and self esteem dump make it difficult to get back on our feet again. 

By the way, you still win.  I just thought I'd throw it out there.  The comparison was of two back to back nightmares, dreamt in the seriously whacked out mind of yours truly.  Dream number one, not so great.  Dream number two...GROSS.  How do we come up with this stuff?!  And for the record, I do just fine in my role at work.

Back to ground zero.  We haven't all been there, but a lot of us have.  Some of us worse than others.  On the record again, I too have been there.  Last year being one of my most down n' dirty years, I too experienced what it was like to admit failure and hold out my cup for spare change.  Not literally, of course.  But at the cost of your tax dollars and my parent's much appricated love and support, you betcha.

Here's the thing.  Yeah, it sucks.  But for all you going through it or maybe about to go through it, there is nothing wrong with tuckin' your tail and still holding your head high.

My 4 year old, Isabella, and I enjoyed a movie together tonight.  Disney's Princess and the Frog.  Great movie, maybe one of my favorites.  I couldn't get over the impressive message that Disney drilled into the brains of all watching, throughout the entire movie.  Here's a small excerpt of lyrics in one of the catchiest tunes:



You got to dig a little deeper
For you it’s gonna be tough
You got to dig a little deeper
You ain’t dug near far enough

Dig down deep inside yourself
You’ll find out what you need
Blue skies and sunshine guaranteed

Sometimes I believe that Disney is really made for adults, with kid friendly language and bright colors to entertain the little ones while parents actually get a bit of silence and a slap of reality...that's just one opinion, of course.

Here's the thing.  For all of you in a rut, let's face it, you're going nowhere fast.  However, you have one problem (the rut, don't complicate things) with multiple solutions.  The odds are in your favor! 

To put it simply, I consider myself to have an easy life.  I'm a single mom (managing my child 12 out of 14 days) working a full time and part time job (making squat), can't seem to collect full child support in the last two years, and am still seriously contemplating going to school part time.  I rarely treat my own self, spend each week budgeting what I can and can't spend at the grocery store, up at 5am, mayyyybe work out, coffee, chauffeur, work, chauffeur, work, clean, cook, clean, clean, wipe butts and get silence only when I don't dream about angry boss's or Charlie Sheen.  I really don't get what's so hard about it.  Suck it up, go to work, love your family, do your absolute best in everything you do and don't sleep with Charlie Sheen.  It's really that simple.

In the words of Princess Tiana, "It serves me right for wishing on stars. The ONLY way to get what you want in this world is through hard work."

Love and hugs to all,

Jess


Breaking the Norm: Try being Normal for a change.

Box 115A.  Natural Lighter Golden Brown.  That's my style, and I'm stickin' to it.  At least until I forget which one I used in 8 weeks, after my roots have shown through more than most would appreciate, and I finally bite the bullet and pay the $7.96 again to buy another box.  Hey, I wasn't always this cheap.  I upgraded from the last 10 years of Colorsilk's $3.94 because, I'm pretty sure, Nice'n Easy is the ticket to natural youthfulness. 

Last year's Walmart special, $3.88 tank tops, in loads of colors, are still on my play list this summer.  I regularly sport these tops at least 5 days a week on my down time.  

In the last month, I did splurge on jewelry from one of those home parties.  To upgrade my selection some, but mostly because I felt obligated by just walking through the door.  Not to mention I bought a couple of new tops from...TARGET...my favorite store ever, to the tune of $45.00 for both last night.  First additions to my wardrobe in, oh, probably 9 months.

In all honesty, I can't say the last time I purchased "new" clothing for my daughter.  I regularly shop the thrift racks, second hand stores and clearance items any chance I get.  Not to mention, purchase a year ahead in preparation when those puppies go on sale at the end of the season.

In case you couldn't tell, I may be one of the most plain Jane, single 30 year old moms out there.
So, to all of you 'others' not in my category, how the heck do you do it?!  I mean, I see highlights and low lights, belts and heals to match your wardrobe perfectly, make-up galore, IPhones and nails.  If it's that easy, help a girl out!!  My guess is, if you're not rich, either your credit card is hurting, or your lean-to spouse or parent is.

Here's the kicker...I don't do as much as you do, and still get all the attention.  My box colored reddish-brown locks get compliments regularly, from both men and women.  My 150lb, uncared for frame in Walmart and Target tops also get some attention.  But most importantly, what I've realized, is most men and women of any size, shape or nature, appreciate a confident individual with realistic values, and sense.  AND ARE ATTRACTED TO IT! 

And what's more, if you really let it go and don't focus on your physical flaws as much, either will anyone else.  Train your mind to allow yourself to be you, despite all the critics out there.  You're the biggest critic of your own self.  If you're truly unhappy with you, than fix it.  Otherwise, live it as it is.

So here's to you, Ms. Nice'n Easy on Box 115A.  Yeah, you're all paint-brushed, good looking and whatnot, but this 'little hot girl with an obvious strength of greatness', as I was called the other day (from someone not so bad himself), have got some livin' to do.

Social, Anti-Social, Let me tell you what you shouldn't know - Media.

For starters, it is ridiculously AMAZING to be able to see pictures of my friends and family, no matter how far away they may be.  To hear (read) their stories, experiences, needs and wants, struggles and all other things wonderful or less important.  I mean, compared to where we were 20 years ago?  If my grandparents wanted to see me or my sister, one way or another someone was making a 5 hour car trip through the corn fields with nothing but books, pillows and a children's cassette tape to keep us occupied.  "Fast forward!  Wait, STOP!  Go back!  There!  The wheels on the bus go...AHH!"  Sorry mom and dad - as a parent, I have it WAY easier.

Here's what scares me.  Facebook, and other social media sites, are all too in my face, out of place, unnecessary, your world is not mine - most of the time, keep it to yourself because your character is bleeding, I love you, but don't support that issue, get off the computer/phone and pay attention to your children or husband or wife, hide behind a screen PROBLEM!

Come on...really?!?!  Just an FYI - your world is my late night entertainment.  My nightly ritual consists of setting my alarm on my phone, reading my horoscope and then scrolling the everlasting wonders on Facebook.  As in my first paragraph, some of the things I see and read are truly enjoyable.  Other things I see and read make me enormously embarrassed...for you.  Did people miss the memo that there is a way to have private message-to-message individual conversations between yourselves on Facebook?

Over the years, I have chosen to, not remove myself, but remove others from my "friends" list because I just can't honestly stand to see adults humiliate themselves.  I know it happens, social media or not.  But hey, out of sight, out of mind.  Your uneducated, self-inflicting, inexperienced, wisdom-less downfalls do not, should not and will not influence me.

Pay attention to your older children who have their own social media account(s) - They're worse than you.  Ouch, but true.  I beg you to not let them fall victim.  They're your responsibility, control it.

Thanks to each of you out in network land, who are not fulfilling the negative trends of social media.  I truly appreciate hearing each story or comment throughout your days, so long as they're positive, and ones that everyone can appreciate and learn from. 

God bless you all.